The daily prompt I choose is – People are afraid of all kinds of things: spiders, the dark, or being enclosed in small spaces. Tell us about your greatest fear — rational or irrational.
There are a few things that turn my stomach but I wouldn’t call them fears. I do have two overwhelming fears – snakes and heights! Fairly common ones. They say (obviously the people who don’t have any fears!) that to get over your fear face it! So I have held many snakes, courtesy of the reptile house at the zoo. I got to hold many types, sizes and I was amazed at how smooth the snakes felt and the power in the constrictors but still I fear them.
Heights is an odd one as in stick me in a plane and my nose is glued to the window enjoying the scenery below. When we flew to San Francisco I spent a good hour if not longer in awe of Greenland and the snow and the height of the mountains. But as soon as I stand at the top of the steps to come off the plane my legs just crumble and I am sure I could easily push babies, elderly people, disabled people out of the way to get down the hell that I feel! Even in museums where you walk into a central place, the first floor nice view, second floor I feel sick at looking over the side and the third floor I could cry and pass out! In the centre of Edinburgh is Walter Scott Monument, which has internal stone steps winding up to some viewing decks. I have gone up it twice, and both times wore my nails down from digging them into the stone! Now it is narrow so if someone is going in the opposite direction to you then squeeze in but if it is against the window gaps then I could feel myself wanting to hysterically shout at the person to hurry up. Which is madness and the window space it tiny, my leg couldn’t fit through it so why does my brain fear me getting sucked through the space!
Likewise I worked in a building where the fire escape was stairs where there were gaps at the side of the wall let alone the central bit and gaps in-between the steps! And with ceiling (9 floors in total) to floor widows! If I had to go to a meeting one floor up and have to take the steps then everyone knew to let me be the last so I could march/stagger up the stairs muttering to myself like the mad female I no doubt looked like! When it was fire drill time thankfully someone would let me hold onto their arm and talk a load of rubbish to me whilst we tried to get down the stairs going at a snail pace.
I have tried to climb up the Wallace Monument and can get to the first floor no problem, second floor I feel sick and had to admit defeat on the first step up to the third floor! Even when we were in San Francisco, a place I had yearned to visit and it surpassed my expectations, I was looking forward to walking over the Golden Gate Bridge. It was the perfect day for it, no clouds in the sky, sun out but not too hot and a slight breeze. I got a third of the way along before my legs just turned to stone! Even with my husband standing beside me trying to entice me along couldn’t get me legs to unstone themselves. He said he would walk back with me and I told him no he was to walk along and come back and tell me all about the amazing view. It took me a couple of minutes to pluck up the courage to turn round to walk back and again crazy with the mad march/stagger appeared.
So I try facing me fears but nothing helps! Though having a large glass of wine afterwards whilst I laugh at me does help, though does not cure!